By the grace of God, I finished Block Test 2. Just as I predicted, I was struggling to pull through, even earlier than I expected though. Every source that I completed was a chore. But, I got that sudden extra burst of energy I needed to finish the last essay, so thank God, really. It's a weight off my shoulders.

So now, I feel free, temporarily. I'm going to enjoy the rest of the week and the next at least. Catch up on reading (hopefully), sleep, yak, play, ahhh...

My History notes are strewn in various piles across the table, but aside from a few half hearted attempts to read up on the Security Council I have not done anything productive this morning, which is why I'm here blogging, because I feel so disinterested in studying at the moment and unmotivated that I might as well pop in and update the blog.

Econs so exhausted me yesterday that when I came home I went and slept through the afternoon, woke up, walked around groggily and then started to compile my list of UN author credentials. It was completed in the night finally. I have no idea how I'm going to pull through History tomorrow but I'm trusting in God. I mean this physically, not even mentally yet, because yesterday by the time I got to the case study I had a headache creeping up, and as I ploughed through I was like, "Ok, qn A's done. Argh, there's still B, C, and D to go. (And when I was at C) Ngargh, there's still D!" I can already hear myself saying tomorrow, "Oh great, that's one source based done, but there's still another to go, and another, and another..."

It feels like it's the holidays already, because everytime I finish an exam I think the holidays are round the corner, but they're not, cos in jc it's the other way round, which I still can't decide is good or bad. But nevermind, because this time tomorrow we shall be freed of the block test, and I can lay aside all the bloody names and dates and things history throws at us. We were chatting yesterday and I too realised that I've lost my initial love of history. I still like it in some sense, especially cold war history, but it's become so terribly detailed and dreary that I cannot see myself enjoying it again for its fun, like the boy whom CS Lewis says cannot see the point of studying Xenophon till he finishes his course and masters Greek in all its intricacies. Blah.

Oh! Superman! I want to go watch that! SOON. But there's a silly rehearsal for College Day tomorrow so while everyone runs hither and thither free upon the sunlit grass I shall have to be stuck in school till 3 and beyond. THREE. Of all things. I've got nothing to do for four hours...

Oh yes, and my inbox is being flooded with email from JC 1 scholars because last year, when a few of us were called up for the scholarship group thingy, I stupidly allowed all mail from the scholar's site on Moodle to be sent to me. So recently, when Mrs Neu called for the JC 1 scholars to send her their individual achievements list, they ALL started sending them one by one, and for some reason, insteade of sending it to her directly, it comes to me too. I was wondering if I should delete them all, bcause achievements lists can be quite interesting reading if you know whom they concern, and a few of them are my juniors. But heck, I couldn't be bothered, so I've been deleting them as they come. I wonder how many are there.

Okay, I shall go try to study now. Ohh, but freedom is so close, so close!

I just read Owen's blog, and I wondered if it's common for debaters to romanticise the art so, because he's not the first or only one to paint debating in such loving terms. I guess it applies to everyone's chosen sport/activity. But I'm always in pleasant delight at the way debaters seem to elevate our joy to such levels of adulation, or describe it moment by moment. And reading his post suddenly made me want to post something about it too, since as he put it, debating is a form of escapism, and the days are growing shorter, the hours more anxious.

What a narcissistic bunch we all are. Or at least me, haha.

Once, maybe, the block tests are over, and we are granted a momentary reprieve from preparation, we can indulge in a nice long debate with the best of minds. Gather all the seniors together. Form various permutations of the All-Stars. Have round upon round of argument. a Senior Quadrangular, why not?


You know, at the end of it all, debating is actually supposed to serve a purpose, namely the production of the best solutions to the world's problems, honed and sharpened in the ferment of debate. But here, we've turned it into an end in itself. Ha, but then, the sharpening of minds is another goal of debating.

Goodnight, Mr Chairman.

Debating

I want to debate. The past few days have whetted my appetite for more. And I don't just want to debate against anyone; I want the best. I want to experience again the feeling of having to stretch my mind and go up there and speak well, sit down, and leave the floor feeling satisfied, knowing I've done my best against a good team and come off well. These two weeks have reinforced for me, more than ever, my belief that debating is so much more than about one person. It is above all a team effort. And I hope, I sincerely hope, that the five people who are to carry on the torch learn that well, and learn that soon. Yesterday, I would have ranted about how pathetic they were, how absolutely low they went. But after today, I can say that at least they've improved. All I hope is that they continue to listen to their opponents, and think. They have potential, and looking at the top four schools, they can go far.

I also want to say that I've seen what it means to live your life as a living testimony for God, through my senior and friend, Brendon. He's earned tremendous respect from me for his humility, his dedication to coaching a bunch of stuck up ingrates despite suffering from flu, fever, n a sore throat, his graciousness and commitment. I'm not used to publicly affirming someone, but then he's given me reason enough to affirm him. I've realised the impact of living a life like that on me, which has given me pause to reflect. No one is perfect, but then if you're different enough, people sit up and notice.

World conquest and the Great Singapore Sale

It's been a lazy start to the second week of the holidays for me. The anxiety about the block test has begun to creep in, resulting in a few half hearted starts at studying. Still, the progress seems fine to me for the start of the week. I'm all but done with the Crisis of Communism, moving on to Econs tomorrow, if I can being myself to it. I realise I'm purposefully avoiding Econs for now, for the very reason that it'll take the most amount of effort to get through, which is of course the very reason why I should start on it as soon as possible. Oh well, I'll try tomorrow.

In other news, I saw my old Civilisation 3 game manual yesterday, which immediately tempted me to play it, and so I reinstalled it today and began conquering the world. Well, not exactly, it's a slow start, as usual. I've never really been an aggressively expansionistic player in these sort of games. I tried Persia, then switched to India, so now I'm ruling a good portion of the globe as Gandhi. I had a good laugh when I established New Delhi, which, according to Manit, is separate from Delhi. Incidently the game separates out Delhi and New Delhi as two different cities.

Anyway, on Sunday I had a big shopping spree at John Little. I don't think I've shopped so much in a loong time. Quite uncharacteristic. Nevertheless, it was quite therapeutic, seeing the stack of clothes on your bed at the end of the day, haha.

Ooh I just had an idea! I should have renamed my ruler as Manit! then name one of the cities Gianchandani! hahahhaa

Guacamole and little green men

The Army, in all its bureaucratic magnificence, makes me like it less than I already did even before I enter its ranks. I couldn't believe a medical checkup could take 4 hours before I went for it, and I still don't. I now believe it takes five and a half hours. And don't get me started on the Oath of Allegiance, or else I might find black suited men knocking on my door soon. Actually, some of the lines remind me of what Martin was barking out during the college play.

That was on Thursday. Yesterday I went back to school for GP makeup, then I caught up with Quek for lunch. A late lunch, in fact, at Carl's Jr. Ahh, now that was filling. I've developed a fondness for guacamole after that. It's a green substance that looks like green mayonnaise, or wasabi, depending on your preference. According to wikipedia, it's an avocado based relish or dip originating from the time of the Aztecs. Great! Mexican food! If only we had tortilla chips to go with it.

So, between discovering how mangled the movie made the Phoenix storyline, I had a lazy afternoon chatting about old times. It is nice, you know, to sit in a cafe or something just jabbering away with an old friend. It is very relaxing, a marked change from a usually busy schedule. We even talked about Earth 2025, that silly old game we used to play when we bored during robotics sessions. It developed into such an obsession I was rushing home everyday to check on my country to see if it was still intact. There is a thrill involved when launching devastating attacks upon an unsuspecting soul, especially when you're launching a missile at a friend. That particular incident was really silly...

Anyway, now I have two books waiting to be read, courtesy of Quek. I shall read the thinner one first, because it's by CS Lewis, not because it's thinner. I want to go out again soon too, once KH returns from whichever part of Malaysia he happened to be in yesterday, haha.

Hmm, there's apparently a Guacamole Fund, but it doesnt't seem to have anything to do with guacamole as far as I can tell...